Have you ever felt totally confused and chaotic at 23. Well I do. Probably one of those days when everything just seems bad. Sometimes I wonder what the heck am I doing? Why am I doing my Masters in some freaking subject and spending hours on some device that nobody is ever going to use. Ever!!!. Just sick of working like a monkey over and over again on the same shit. Just sick of all people and the million politics, sick of finding jobs, sick of talking to people and explaining why am not getting a job, sick of the school, sick of cleaning the house, sick of cooking, sick of every damn thing. I just feel going on top of a montain and yelling and screming and throwing mud, pulling out grass and just behaving insanely. Feel like boarding a train and just suddenly disappear into some remote place, some place that even I don't know of. Some other world that has nothing to do with this one. Some place where I can stop thinking.
The funniest or perhaps the saddest part is that I don't know what exactly it is that I want. I am just clueless. I am this jack of all trades who has absolutely no idea how exactly I fit in this world. I just don't have a sense of belonging anywhere. I have no idea what my future holds for me. Even to this day I always feel probably I am more artistic than scientific. I should have taken interior designing, fashion designing, journalism, become a TV show host or some shit like that. I can even go as far as a biologist.
Today we took a bunch of high school girls to the cleanroom and at the end of it I was supposed to say what motivated me to take up Engineering. hehe...I did fake a super inspiring speech then but to be honest I don't know. To me it was more like after 12 th , you do Engineering or medical. I din't get into medical so I took up Engineering.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!Okie thats my heavy sighing....:)..I know in a day or two I will be okie. I will be.:) Just doing my usual stuff - Cribbing!!!